Monday, September 28, 2009

Being the Child, Doing What I Love

I realize today the key difference between the attitude of the adult and that of the child. The adult will sacrifice all superfluous action and thought in order to survive. Food must be on the table, the bills must be paid, the need of the job, etc. That's all part of going up, survival is. It's inevitable. If there's time for play, that time will be used for play. The child does what he/she needs to do and makes time for play. If he loves ride his bike, that kid will do everything in his/her power to finish the chores and homework to ride that bike. That's where the passion lies.

If I am ever to progress as an artist, I must be the child.

I'm going to have to stay up late to do stuff, but I'd rather spend sleepless nights paving my future than looking at porn. That would be (and has been) a tragic waste of time. I'm a slow person, and I'll have to live with that for the rest of my life, but that won't stop me now. Luckily, my schedule is so that I can finish most of it in school, leaving me with only Math and English to do at home.

So now I will get started. Good night to all else.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Learning to Respect Women, and The Best Day of School I've Ever Had

Life is good, and if I continue it in the spirit that enraptured me today, I will be well on my way to getting and being better.

I see of excellent events that occurred today, I have only enough energy left to tell of: 1) one highlight of the day, and 2) the results of this venture.

The circumstances were perfect. We finished running through the play on Thursday, and I didn't tell my parents, which meant I had to stay at school until five o'clock. My English teacher, upon hearing this, immediately invited me to my school's JustPeace Coffeehouse Meeting. There, the workshop presentations revolve around social issues such as Urban Agriculture, Christianity and War, Women and Advertising, etc. Why not?

Interestingly enough, one of my friends tried to persuade not to go because (not sure if he was joking anymore) they were a bunch of liberals who were blinded to how the world really operates. Seeing as I have no real political standings (and I don't see how a sane person could), I wanted to check it out regardless. Admission was five dollars, but another friend and teacher allowed me in for free because they knew I'd take a genuine interest and wasn't just there for all the sweets. And there were a lot of sweets.

So I went to the Objectification of Women in Advertising workshop. What a rush of discussion, presentation, and interpretation! I've never participated more actively in a meeting like this. The advertisements ranged from humorous to subtly misogynistic to flat out humiliating to abstractly satirical (without the company knowing, of course). The whole experience made my stomach and head hurt, but I'm glad I went through it. Giving the horribly feelings I've had about my instinctive reactions to girls recently (this week, I apologized to three girls in the play for no reason at all, advising them to read James Joyce's "Araby" for clarification), this workshop was exactly what I needed to get put back on the right stream-of-consciousness. I've even been invited to join the Michigan Coalition for Human Rights, which I will be joining.

How incredible I felt because of the day that I hope continue feeling this way to the end of my days. And to do that, I must work, work, work at it and never let anyone get my spirits down. I'm glad I was persuaded by my friend not to attend the meeting. The guide of open-mindedness lead me to this workshop, and I've benefited so much from it. I feel much more confident and ready for life than I ever have. I can't wait to do more. I need to get away from home to do so, or risk going back into a routine complacency that gets me nowhere.

All in all, I want to thank God for his patience and everyone on Earth for their help, individuality (or characteristic lack thereof), and share of the Truth. I thank you, and will continue to march forward.

D'Angelo - "I Found My Smile Again"

The Beatles - "Baby, You're a Rich Man"

Thursday, September 10, 2009

School's Here, and I'm a Loser

It's tough being imprisoned by the system, the family, the conformity. It's even worse being so within the complacency, the laziness, and the fearfulness of your own human body. My soul is trapped. There are so many things I want to say, have to say, and will say, but at the moment, I'm so wrapped up in my own idiocy and self-loathing that I can't bring myself to change myself for the better. I must stop being so damn complacent. I need to stop staying awake late at nights only to stare at this damn light screen all the time. I need to do what I'm born to do, what God wants me to do.

I know my mission in life. I just need to adjust to achieve it. And that is taking a long time. It's not for me. It's for the world. That should motivate me. I need to learn. This entry is redundant and incoherent. I need to learn not to be lazy and actually revise my writing.

I need to start writing again. I need to start living again.

"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." - Mahatma Gandhi

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Here is the original longhanded second draft for The Departure. It was written in the course of twelve hours from midnight to 10 am, as described in my previous entries on the production.

Also, production will resume and conclude on September 12. I can't wait to start shooting again.